Nearing completion of my seventh decade, I decided to pick up an application for a U.S. passport. Perusing the invasive list of information requested, I decided to rant in writing. The form demands the name of my Current or Most Recent Spouse. Reasonable human that I am, I can sort of understand providing name of a current marital partner. But what about the person who is trying to escape an abusive spouse? In my opinion, divorce should dissolve all ties and the need to divulge those names and former relationships. If the question remains in place, there should be an expiration date: let''s say five years. At least the question isn't only asked of women.
Then there is the matter of renewing one's driving license. The most recent notice sent to me, informed me I was not "Real ID" compliant. Fortunately, I have on hand certified copies of my birth certificate and marriage license, to show name change from Baugh to Dalgard. I never took second husband's name; I remembered what a bother it was, having to register with Social Security for first name change. Besides, it's a no-account name.
Anyway, that is the basis of my argument for refraining from getting married: being able to live one's own life without needless complication. In misogynistic cultures, that deny a woman's right to govern her own body, women would do well to find [sure-fire] ways of avoiding pregnancy. Parents need to laud the virtues/benefits of auto-eroticism and break the cycle of shame. Churches need to mind their own damned business. You know, that caring for people thing.
Also, anyone who cares one whit about humanity or ecology should do whatever possible to ensure [what I am choosing to call] reproductive justice. This means promoting the right of women to make their own choices for their lives and their bodies. It also means supporting and electing representatives who uphold these rights. In places where basic human rights are denied, establishing voting rights is a first step. The planet is currently experiencing a plethora of morally weak leaders, relying on "strong man" tactics/politics. It would appear the word "conservative" has come to designate someone who is just plain mean: punitive mean and stingy mean.
It is indeed ungodly, unconscionable, and altogether unacceptable that women's lives are held in such low regard. Just who the hell do legislators and religious fanatics think they are, to foster, promote, and enact legislature, designed solely to enslave women? As heinous as this behavior is, when exhibited by men, it is so much worse when our gender is betrayed by one of our own. Meting out eternal damnation is not my bailiwick but I certainly do not envy their fate. I saw one meme to the effect that women of childbearing age in one state would have to undergo monthly exams to determine whether or not they were pregnant - and have a doctor sign off. Failure to do so would incur the state's wrath and punishment would ensue. I'm hoping this was a false alarm: the logjam of paperwork would be horrendous and work on any number of vital projects would be halted. I cannot help but think of thousands of rape kits, nationwide, that remain untested. Oh; but those would be a nuisance to men. God forbid. Well, not God - the Good Ol' Boy network. This is what "patriarchy" looks like. It is neither pretty, just, nor fair.
Parenthood should be honored as a sacred trust; perceived as a joy - but it can be neither if it is regarded as a punishment. Every child deserves to be wanted and cared for. Isn't that the world you want to live in? Help achieve it.
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