When the rain stops

Below, I have combined entries originally published under three separate titles. As the tapestries of our lives are woven, the changes in thread pattern are not always readily discernible. Passage of years can blend elements which previously seemed disparate.

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Humility and humanity
7 May, 2012

   There is a Serbian proverb which says: Be humble for you are made of earth, be noble for you are made of stars.

   Anyone familiar with Ash Wednesday traditions know the admonition, "Remember, man, that thou art dust and unto dust you will return." That addresses humility.

   Some might find it a struggle to find nobility in wearing ashes. Perhaps because the concept of humility is largely absent from Western culture. At the very least, humility is misunderstood, often misconstrued as weakness.

   The Western world seems to pride itself on independence, "pride" being the operative word. But nobility should not be confused with haughtiness. Nobleness is carrying oneself with dignity. National pride shouldn't be "My country can kick your country's ass." It should be, "All of our citizens have enough to eat and their basic medical needs are met, so we reach out to others."

   Zen master Thich Nhat Hanh, a poet human rights activist has said, "In Buddhist psychology, we speak of consciousness in terms of seeds. We have a seed of anger in us. We have a seed of compassion in us. The practice is to help the seed of compassion to grow and the seed of anger to shrink. When you express your anger you think that you are getting anger out of your system, but that's not true. When you express your anger, either verbally or with physical violence, you are feeding the seed of anger, and it becomes stronger in you. It's a dangerous practice.

That's why recognizing the seed of anger and trying to neutralize it with understanding and compassion is the only way to reduce the anger in us. If you don't understand the cause of your anger, you can never transform it."

   Look inside yourself, see what grows there. If it is compassion, nurture it so it may provide shade for those in need. If it is a poisonous plant, dispatch it with all haste, but know what lies at the root so you can keep it from growing again. There is justifiable anger, which springs from seeing evil or injustice done to the defenseless. When encountered, one should attempt to transform it, applying prayer, education and whatever else is in one's arsenal.

Here, I insert an old note: [unsure of date]

   Since Wednesday, I have attended three services for the departed. There is another tomorrow. I go not because I'm morbid or a "funeral junkie" but because those who remain need to know that their loved one mattered to the community at large.
   Do we begrudge the time spent saying goodbye? Some individuals opt for a graveside service because they don't wish to impose on the busy schedules of others. [I have chosen such for cost and because I will likely have outlived any potential mourners.]
   The Judaic culture sits shiva for seven days. It is good to honor the dead. The world should stop for a moment and take note that a loved one is missing. Our busy lives will go on, but remember those who are absent. They mattered.

   Humility is not servitude but servanthood, it is knowing one's place in the universe. I find nobility and humility eminently compatible.

(harvesting rainbows)

8 May, 2012   

My task each day from now until I cease to draw breath, is to find joy. Not merely seek it, but find it. I have made a conscious decision to live my life this way.

   From time to time, I have thought this was a goal to pursue, but putting it into practice only lasted a few days. It just seems different this time.

   Between shifts one day, I strolled around the pond on the grounds. The fountains were running and in the spray, rainbows were visible. I thought of a friend who says he looks for rainbows and, looking deeply enough, usually finds them.

   Thinking of the three hours just finished, I was mindful of my aching biceps, tired from lifting my patient out of his wheelchair to shower and go to the bathroom. This is my job six days a week. Granted it's only 27 hours per week and I know I am darn lucky to have  a job. Then that night, checking Facebook, this post: Be kind to everything that lives – Omaha

   Not always easy, especially in the short term. But take time to think about some of the people who annoy you. Then give consideration to why. Is it beyond their physical or mental control?

   I confess moments of weakness, when my thoughts are, shall we say, somewhat less than noble. Most of the people I encounter through work, given a choice, would not be in the shape they are, nor would many of them be in the surroundings they are.

   It is my joy and privilege to brighten their days whenever possible. One gentleman, in his mid-90s, used to work in the garment district in New York.

   He sits alone at breakfast, but has taken to inviting me over. Sometimes I take a bagel with me and when he has his, I have mine. Sometimes he insists on splitting his banana. I think it bolsters his self-esteem to be able to give something tangible. We chat, he asks what I've done lately, we share a few laughs. When he introduced me to his sister as his "girlfriend," we all chuckled.

   There was an old advertising jingle which said, "Life's simple pleasures are the best." I couldn't agree more.  They're out there, just waiting to be discovered.

   Find them - you won't be disappointed.

(Sunshine through the rain)

9 May, 2012   

   Back in the spring, I went for a walk with Martin (he's the fellow mentioned above, who worked in New York), someone I met at work. He gave out early on, having not been out in a long time. Time has taken a toll and, in his mid-90s, he now uses a walker, but he was glad to get out and breathe "real" air. I told him we'd work up to longer walks. He was pleased, which made me happy.

   After Martin went in, I continued to walk. Went by the fountains again, hoping to see light bent by refraction and reflection, but the full spectrum was not evident. After a while the violet band became visible, as the sun hit the water at just right the right angle.

   Taking time to note simple yet amazing things, I saw evergreen trees standing tall against a slightly overcast sky, an inch of new growth showing light green against the older, darker, color.

   It is amazing what one sees when one is determined to drink in the world until sated. And still, people walk around with blinders on, oblivious to the marvels all around.

   Later, arriving at church for choir practice, I took time to stop and smell the irises, roses not yet being available. Teri, my late sister, even taught her little dog to stop and smell the roses, she felt it that important.

   My sister in Texas called and asked me to give the folks an extra hug from her next time I saw visited.

   Another day draws to a close. Anticipation for tomorrow's wonders will enhance my dreams, which will be chronicled in another post.

*

   It is now several months later and this remnant was added. I still see Martin from time to time, but no longer have long enough breaks to go walking with him. [Besides, it is cold right now.] There are new wings to the building, new employees. New residents come and death has taken a few to a different place.

   The world is a place of enchanting beauty, if one remembers to look beyond the trouble and sorrow. May wonder enhance your dreams and your tomorrows.

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[May 2019]
   I have, from time to time, wondered whatever happened to Martin; he always reminded me of Herbert Lom - as he appeared in later years. Most likely, he has gone to his eternal reward. I have only returned to the facility a few times since retiring and it has now been four or five years. Occasionally, I write to former coworkers. There are currently several letters in my "To be answered" file.
   Awake in small hours, I thought about how I wanted to revise this piece for presentation. A followup article came to mind and it will hopefully be published soon. As you go about your life, remember to be kind in the face of adversity.

Blessed be.